1. Uses her right foot like a tail:
leopard to be exact
2. Cries at every movie
3. Even the ones so stupidly dumb that
you see the sappy ending coming just from glancing briefly at the poster
4. Loves the freedom of running
5. Can only run for thirty second
intervals
6. Can sew surprisingly neat even
stiches in just about anything: don’t expect them to serve an actual purpose
7. Believes in fairies
8. But not Santa Claus
9. Desperately wants to become a real
person but is unsure how to go about that
10. Never wears matching clothes
11. Not even on my birthday
12. Is a brilliant writer: much better
than me; hears poetry when other people talk
13. Would probably be horrified were she
to read this
14. Has a terrible fear of ball shaped
objects
15. Tried every sport her parents could
think
16. Refuses to learn vocabulary but loves
to argue with extra big words
17. Loves the rain: it’s a blessing after
all
18. She always reminded me of a snowflake
19. She never liked the snow
20. Once she pretended to be a kitty cat
for a whole day
21. But she gave up when she couldn’t
bear to harm a mouse
22. Knows she doesn’t belong anymore, but she can’t
leave or she’ll lose him
This is a very wonderful poem. The lines flow well and fit together well, like a jigsaw puzzle.
ReplyDeleteI love how you carry some of the phrases from one line to the next, such as with 4 and 5, 7 and 8, and so on and so forth. It sometimes seems a little... over repetitive, though? I love it, but maybe maybe maybe you should bring it back just a smidge.
That's just a suggestion, though. I love how the cat comparison comes back from the beginning in the end, and I love the connection between 14 and 15, how they're connected, but you have to look at the fine line to see it.
The one other comment I would have would be on the last line... 'him' is a little vague and just doesn't seem like a very fitting ending to me.
But that's just my opinion, and I could be wrong.
It's very well written poem, and I love the feeling it emits.
That's all~