Love Letter

I wrote poems about you once. 

It started with trading candy one halloween at a party I wasn’t meant to be at.

You were nice to me. 

Then we became friends started a team together. 

Played in the rain, and snow, and grass, and sun and desert and well everywhere.

People thought we were more than we were when we weren’t.

They would make up stories about it.

I wanted to be..... But I was scared and young and immature. 

I changed direction 

to follow you..... But you ignored me. 

I loved you anyway though because that direction was one of the best decisions I ever made.

It became complicated and I started writing.

About you. 

first in my diary.... to figure things out

my feelings, why you didn’t like me anymore. 

Its not a feat to make it into my diary,

everything does. But you have whole pages. 

you share them with the other half of your soul. 

That didn’t work so I started to write you into my stories. 

There you didn’t have your on again off again attitude.

our relationship wasn’t in my head. 

You show up in my dreams.... But never in the way you are supposed too.

Finally I turned to poetry.

You see it was in my head.

You never really cared right and I was left aching. 

You left me for another woman.... so many other women. 

I never could understand what it was about me that you continually rejected. 

I’m very good at changing you know. 

I could fix it if you told me what it is.

I knew I needed to leave. 

But I couldn’t do it. 

So I used to write poetry about you and secretly hope we would kiss one day. 

Now we have and there is a whole in the world where I went when you dropped me. 

I still write poetry about you sometimes. 

I guess that is what this is. 

But really it’s goodbye. 

probably the thousandth time I have said goodbye. 

I burned that good-bye, drowned it, folded it into a thousand tiny folds 

but really only eight because you can’t fold a piece of paper more than eight times. 

anyway goodbye..... hopefully it works this time. 

I used to write poetry about you. 

I’m trying not to anymore.